The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee
by Greene Earth Productions
Summary: How the Bee Movie REALLY ended: dark, sad, but all-around hilarious! (we really don't want to spoil it too much, as it's very twisty and shocking, but suffice to say it contains disturbing content such as suicide, don't read if you're sensitive to dark stuff like that, DO read if you're not sensitive and want to laugh your ass off.)
1. Chapter 1

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter One: Barry and Vanessa.

On average, a drone honey bee only lives to be 90 days old, of course, that's just what the humans say, and bees don't care what humans say, however, this bee should have, because as much as bees like to think they know better, humans are right about 99.999999% of the time, I don't see any bees going to the moon, at least not without human assistance, so bees should shut up, and start giving a shit about what humans say because they fucking die when the humans say they will.

Barry Benson was laying on his death bed, this was his 91st day of life, at least he had been lucky enough to outlive all his relatives, his mother and father died a while back, and his brother/best friend/whatever had his life shortened by the loss of his stinger, dumb bitch couldn't hold his temper.

His wife, Vanessa... Benson? I guess, sat next to the bed, holding a long, shiny dagger, it was very pretty, and deadly, she caressed it with her fingers lovingly as she watched Barry, she hadn't forgotten her promise to him, their suicide pact stood strong.

Seeing as how they're about to die, there was no reason to give a shit about their weight anymore, so they were packing it onto their asses by scarfing down straight sugar and honey, they did this for a while, until...

"Ugh, Vanessa...! I don't know how much longer I can hold on...!" Barry says as he throws the spoon of honey away and collapses.

"Just let it happen, Barry, don't try to fight it, baby." said Vanessa, "do you think it's time, Barry? should I... do it?" she holds the dagger close to her heart.

"I... I don't know, Vanessa...!" Barry gasps, "I don't know how long this will take, and I don't want to be alone...!"

"I understand, honey-bunch, I don't want to be alone either." Vanessa nods "that's why I need to do it at the exact right moment, so that we leave together."

"Wait! I think... I think I have a plan...!" Barry starts trying to use his brain, big mistake, "if you, position yourself over me, and then do it, I think that should take us both."

"Good plan, Barry, but there's a huge problem..." Vanessa sighs "I want to be staring into your BEEautiful blue eyes when it happens."

"But this way, Vanessa, I can stare into yours." Barry points out.

Vanessa tenses, holding back her irritation.

"But... Barry... I want us to both stare into each others." Vanessa states calmly.

"Wait, new plan!" Barry just keeps making it worse, "as you stab yourself with one hand, crush my body with the other, that way things should happen exactly as we want them to."

"NO, Barry!" Vanessa protests "that would not work, if my hand is crushing you then I won't see your face, I think our best bet is what we were going to do originally: wait for the moment when the death grip seizes you, I'll stab myself, your heart will BEEat rapidly and I'll bleed out while we stare, then we'll both BEE gone."

"But Vanessa, you were only supposed to crush my body, you would still see my face, you wouldn't even need to squish my entire abdomen, just enough to get me going, like you with your heart." Barry won't take a hint.

"I said NO, Barry, I don't want to crush any of your beautiful insect body." Vanessa is adamant "even if we don't die at the exact same time, the one of us who dies first has to die watching the other die, WITH eye-contact."

"...yes, of course." Barry surrenders, "that's how it will BEE, then."

"Thank you, Barry..." Vanessa breathes, glad to finally have her way "I love you so much, my creepy crawly darling." she leans in over the bed above him.

"As I do you, my BEEloved." Barry responds.

Vanessa swooped down upon her tiny lover, lightly kissing his entire face.

Unfortunately, Barry had only just breathed out, and as Vanessa held the kiss he more and more impatiently waited for her to stop smothering him.

"Ugh!" Barry forced his head to the side "I think it might be happening...!"

"Oh my god, really!?" Vanessa backs off and raises the dagger "we have to BEE 100% sure, Barry, we can't risk me leaving preemptively."

"I-ugh! I don't know, I don't know! _"_ Barry can't make up his mind.

"Then I won't do it yet." Vanessa decides "you should KNOW when it is happening, without any doubt."

"Yes, I'll be sure, I'll BEE sure... ugh..." Barry dies.

"Barry? Barry, is it happening!?" Vanessa asks desperately "Barry, wake up! wake the fuck up, Seinfeld! YES I KNOW YOUR REAL NAME, urgh, you can't do this to me! you bitch! open your god damn eyes!" Vanessa shakes Barry with her finger.

Barry's dead so he doesn't do anything.

"BARRY!? come on, you can't...!" Vanessa begs "what will it take to bring you back, Barry!? how about honey, you love honey, EAT SOME HONEY." Vanessa grabs the honey spoon and tries to forcefeed it to Barry's corpse.

Barry just lies there and takes it.

"Damn, the honey isn't working, oh-no, how stupid of me, of course it isn't, you've had your fill of honey, I need to try something different, I need to give you something that you haven't had any of for a long, long time..." Vanessa thinks it over a bit "I know! we haven't committed BEEstiality in ages, not from lack of pushing on your part though, now all that waiting pays off, Barry, enjoy these boobies that you haven't had since forever!" she undoes the buttons on the top of her shirt and opens wide, revealing her tits in her bra.

Since this has no effect on Barry, yet, she throws off the bra and starts fuckin' boob dancing for him or some shit, she basically just does everything Barry always wanted but never got when he was alive to enjoy it.

Realizing that this shit ain't workin' and ain't gonna work no matter how sexy she makes it, she stops undoing her belt and goes back to desperately trying to come up with some other way to save him, how do most people save dead people again? oh, right! ELECTRIC SHOCKS!

Vanessa feels like a genius as she scoops Barry up and runs outside to the bug-zapper.

"You'll come back to me now, my love!" she cries as she zaps him.

"Clear!" she zaps him again.

"Urgh!" Barry comes back to life "what... what happened!?"

"Oh, Barry! precious Barry." Vanessa snuggles him against her cheek "you were almost gone, but I've bought us more time."

"Oh, good..." Barry breathes, relieved "oh hey...! you're not wearing your top!"

"Oh, I suppose I'm not, this was the second thing I did in attempt to revive you, but it wasn't working so I switched to this." Vanessa points at the bug zapper.

"Wait...!" Barry realizes "you gave me boobie time, AND I MISSED IT!?"

"Not just any boobie time, the GREATEST boobie time I've ever given anyone! all to bring you back, baby." Vanessa's proud of herself.

"Th-the BEST...!?" Barry can't believe it "can, can you like, do it again? please!? as my dying wish?"

"Ugh, Barry! I already gave it to you once tonight, is there no satisfying you!?" Vanessa's annoyed by his pestering.

"Please...! I wasn't even really there!" Barry begs like a bitch.

Vanessa opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly froze, her eyes locked onto something behind Barry.

"What!? what is it...!?" Barry turns to look.

TO, BEE, CONTINUED!


	2. Chapter 2

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter Two: Paul and Liza.

Barry finds the sight of Vanessa's parents, his in-laws, standing at the side of the road, gaping at them.

Their car had broken down nearby so they had decided to come spend the night at their daughter's, they had had no idea of what she had planned to transpire tonight, and now they found her, arguing with her bee lover, who was sitting in her hand, the two of them outside with her shirt open and her boobs hanging out in plain sight for anybody in the area to see.

"Quick, Vanessa, back to the room! we need to barricade the door! they can't stop us from doing this!" Barry tries to take charge of the situation.

"Mom! Dad!" Vanessa ignores Barry "what are you two doing here!? why tonight!?"

"No, Vanessa! we need to leave, they'll try to stop us!" Barry urgently protests.

"R-right!" Vanessa nods and turns back to the door inside, "go away, you can't stop us from doing this, it's our choice, our freedom, stay away from us!" she calls back at her parents as she runs inside and to their bedroom, locking the door behind them and grabbing the dagger.

"Vanessa! Vanessa!" her parents cry in the distance as they follow.

"Vanessa! I don't think we have much time, should we do it now!?" Barry questions.

"What's going on, Vanessa!? talk to us! what's that bee fuck done to you!?" Vanessa's father yells as her parents enter the house.

"Yes, Barry! this is our only chance, if we don't do it now then you'll wind up gone when I'm still here! I'm sorry there's no time for boobies." Vanessa apologizes sadly, now legitimately upset that she couldn't afford her man that pleasure.

"It, it's okay! this is more important!" Barry agrees "do it, Vanessa! do it now!"

 _BAM-BAM._ sounds the door behind them.

"VANESSAAAAAA...! open the god damn door!" her father's voice booms from the other side.

"I'll be looking into your eyes, Vanessa! just like we planned!" Barry screams.

"VANESSA! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" her parents keep desperately trying to call her back to their side.

"I LOVE ALL OF YOU! AHHHHHH!" Vanessa screams out as she thrusts the dagger into her conveniently exposed chest, her legs immediately buckle from the shock and she drops to her knees, her bright red blood streaming onto the floor.

"NOOO! VANESSA! VANESSAAAAA!" her parents scream, helpless on the other side of the door.

"Yes! yes, Vanessa! I'll be right with you, I promise!" Barry gleefully cheers for her.

"Oh, Barry..." Vanessa smiles down at the little bee in her hand, staring into his eyes "all I ever wanted... was for us to be happy..."

"I am happy, Vanessa..." Barry assures her "thank you, for coming with me..."

"I swore I'd never leave you, not even 'til death will we part." Vanessa breathes.

"I'll see you again soon, my love, it won't be long now..." Barry reassures her.

 _KA-CHOW!_ Vanessa's father kicks the door open, breaking the lock, the parents run in, finding Vanessa swaying, her head light from blood loss, her mother screams and grabs her, holding her steady, Vanessa's father kicks Barry out of her hand, Barry lands on the floor with a grunt.

"It's too late...!" Barry smiles at them "we're both gone."

"No! NO! you can't do this to us, you can't!" Vanessa's mother tries desperately to stop the bleeding with her hand, she looks at Vanessa's face, her daughter was still smiling, she seemed so peaceful, so bliss.

"We should never have let her marry you, monster!" Vanessa's father growls.

"She got what she wanted, old man..." Barry taunts.

"She wouldn't want this, you drove her to this, you turned our daughter against herself, you manipulated her, you BEEotch!" Vanessa's father roars.

"You never even really knew her, did you?" Barry chuckles "say goodbye, pops, before your little girl runs away with me for the last time..."

"We'll see how smug you are when your face is crushed BEEneath my boot!" Vanessa's father proclaims, he stomps down at Barry.

Barry tries half-assedly to roll away.

 _SPLAT!_ Barry gets squashed for pretty much letting it happen.

"Heh, heh, heh, got 'im." Vanessa's father looks down at the bottom of his boot.

"Paul! stop screwing around and help me with Vanessa!" his wife bitches at him "she's dying here and I don't know what to do!"

"Oh, fine, Liza, I'll help..." Paul takes out his phone and dials 911.

"They're not gonna be able to do anything!" Liza freaks "that's not 'helping', we need to treat her ourselves, NOW, Paul!"

"Ugh, well maybe you should start with taking the knife out." Paul snarks.

"NO, Paul!" Liza snaps "that would just make things worse! taking the knife out would cause the blood to pour faster, I know, I saw it on TV once, what we NEED to do is bandage the wound AROUND the knife, she'll probably have to live with it in her chest forever, but at least she'll be alive!"

"Oh, okay...!" Paul starts stripping all his clothes, trying to be erotic.

He hasn't gotten any in a long time, and thinks that if Vanessa dies here he might get to land a score, he does want to save her, and is going for the saving Vanessa sex too, he's just a massive pessimist who constantly plays for win-win situations, so he strips and makes it sexy, only it's not actually sexy, he totally fails at it since he has a huge beerbelly and stuff.

...

So he takes all his shit off and brings them over to wrap around and bandage Vanessa.

"You're doing it wrong! they won't stay on like that!" Liza protests.

"Fine! you do it while I hold her, then!" Paul takes Vanessa from her.

"I will! and her life will be saved because of me!" Liza gets up and runs away into the other rooms of the house.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Paul freaks out.

"SAVING OUR BABY!" Liza screams back.

Paul frowns.

"Aha! I've found it!" Liza's voice announces victoriously, she comes running back holding a stapler "hold her steady, I don't want to fuck this!"

Some of you readers may be asking, "How the hell is Vanessa even still alive!? did she just really suck at stabbing herself very deeply?"

The answer is, "She's passed out by now, but she's still alive because the blade missed her heart and it's not a very wide dagger, it's thin and long."

"What are you doing with that thing!?" Paul demands.

"Making sure your clothes stay on for sure!" Liza states determinedly "now keep your hands clear!"

She starts going nuts with the staples, popping them in all over his clothes, pinning them into Vanessa's flesh.

"You're making her bleed more!" Paul freaks out.

"It's just trickles, I'm stopping the river!" she dismisses him.

"Urgh, fine...!" he just let's her do it.

Soon Liza's work was done, they laid Vanessa on her and Barry's bed, her wound bandaged and the bleeding stopped by means of drastic measures, all they could do now was wait.

TO, BEE, CONTINUED!


	3. Chapter 3

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter Three: Doctor Ick and the Emergency Medical Services Guys.

"NOW can I call an ambulance? Paul asks.

Liza tensed, she locked eyes with him, cold fury burning within her.

"D-did you NOT, already do that?" she demands.

"YOU DIDN'T LET ME, YOU SAID SHE'D DIE FIRST! Paul isn't happy.

"What I SAID was don't sit around waiting for them to arrive, not don't call them!" Liza growls, furious.

"I wasn't going to sit around, I was going to call them and then help you!" Paul argues.

"WELL I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW THAT!" Liza explodes "YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING!"

"UGH!" Paul heaves as he takes his phone out and calls.

"What they sayin'!?" Liza bothers him once they pick up "are they too busy!?"

Paul shoots Liza a glare, but she strains her ears and picks up the other side of the conversation.

"911, what's your emergency?" says the lady on the other end.

"Hello!? my daughter stabbed herself, me and my wife bandaged her up best we can for now, but we still need an ambulance!" Paul explains urgently.

"Okay, sir, where are you at?" the lady questions.

He then lists down a bunch of crap about the address.

"Oh my god!" Liza gasps "what are we gonna do when they find out we murdered Barry!?"

"Alright, sir, an ambulance is on it's way." _-Beep!_ the phone call ends.

"I don't know, sweep him under the rug, throw him out the window, eat him, I don't care, just avoid them from ever finding out!" Paul throws out ideas.

"I know! let's wash him down the sink!" Liza suggests.

"Fine!" Paul takes off his boot and the two of them run off to the bathroom sink, where they start running the water and scrub at the remains of Barry.

 _KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!-_ "Hello!? Emergency Medical Services!" a voice calls from outside after knocking.

"*GASP*!" Paul stops the water and scrubbing and pulls his boot on without drying it, he then runs to answer the door.

"She's in her bedroom!" Paul breathes as he opens the door to find a man in a medical uniform.

"Lead the way." the Emergency Medical Services Guy nods.

"Huhuhuh!" Paul jogs to the room "right here!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Baby, there's a doctor in the house, and his name is Big D. Ick!" the EMS guy walks after Paul, stripping his shirt off and thrusting his pelvis furiously.

"Honey-DOW, I mean, uh, Paul!?" Liza comes running "what's going on!?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Paul's horrified at the good doctor's actions.

"Uh... my job...?" Dr. Ick stares blankly at Paul "did... did you not order a fuckboy?"

"WE ORDERED A FUCKING MEDICAL TEAM TO SAVE MY DYING DAUGHTER!" Paul screams, outraged.

"What!? but on the phone...!" Dr. Ick trails off in shock as he spots Vanessa with the dagger in her chest "HOLY SHIT, what happened!?"

"SHE STABBED HERSELF, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, NOW WHERE ARE THE POLICE!?" Paul demands.

"W-why are you asking me!? I don't know!" Dr. Ick stresses out "the lady on the phone wanted a fuckboy!"

"NO, LADY, CALLED FROM HERE!" Paul freaks out.

"B-b-b-b-but...!" Dr. Ick turns around and runs outside the front door, turning to look back at the address "OH! this is 190! I'm looking for 198! I misread your number!"

"THEN, **GO!** " Paul's fucking had enough.

 _WEE-OOO-WEE-OOO-WEE-OOO!_ ambulance sirens sound as Dr. Ick the fuckboy runs off, the legit medical team pull into the driveway.

You know that guy was awesome, you're all going to miss him.

"COME, THE FUCK, INTO MY HOUSE!" Paul screams, having used up all his patience.

The Medical Team of legitimate Emergency Medical Services Guys stare at him, disturbed.

"SHE'S DYING, COME DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!" Paul roars.

The Medical Team get off their asses and run inside.

As they run past Paul, Liza comes creeping up behind him, observing his rage and frustration.

"Oh, Paul, calm down, sweetie, it's all going to be okay." Liza puts her hands on his shoulders to comfort him.

He inhales brokenly, "O-okay..." Paul huffs "it's just... I'm so scared... and I can't take all this right now..."

"Hmmm, tch." Liza smiles "how about, you and me, go down to that 908 party that cute fake EMS guy was going to? it'll probably be very... relaxing."

"Huh, well... there's not a lot we can do for Vanessa right now anyway, so... maybe just to take our minds off it for a while..." Paul totally goes for it.

"Great! let's go!" Liza eagerly drags Paul along "maybe while we're there, you and Dr. Big D. Ick can... apologize, to each other."

Paul immediately stiffens, "Liza...! I can't fucking deal with this...!" Paul warns.

"Or, if you'd rather, I could apologize to him for you...!" Liza specifically teases, but is also 100% serious.

"How, about, we just stick to each other...!?" Paul suggests.

"Paul, you're not STILL a fucking boring old man, are you?" Liza is getting impatient, she wants Dr. Big D. Ick, and Paul isn't going to stop her... so she thinks.

"I...! I...! ugh, whatever! do whatever the fuck you want, Liza! I'm going home!" Paul starts going in the opposite direction.

"Paul?" Liza freezes "P-Paul? come back! you can't leave me behind, it's not safe to walk home alone after such a wild party!"

"Call a cab!" Paul takes some money out and throws his wallet back at his wife.

"But I want to go with YOU, Paul!" Liza pleads.

"Over your little fuckboy!?" Paul snaps.

"Yes, over you!" Liza insists.

"...fine, did you want to come home, then?" Paul gets a bit less angry.

"I guess..." Liza irritably walks to catch up "besides, we need the cab money to pay Vanessa's hospital bills."

"Yeah..." Paul mopes.

They walk home together in silence.

TO, BEE, CONTINUED!


	4. Chapter 4

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter Four: Handling the Aftermath.

The next day they got the call from the hospital, Vanessa was alive and well, though kinda buggy and drunk from the painkillers, it was all very happy, but not for Vanessa, or Barry, although he was dead so he didn't know, at least he died laughing and not making a real attempt to live, that would make his soul rest more peacefully, anyway, Paul and Liza went to visit their daughter in her hospital room, this family needed to talk, badly.

They open the door to the hospital room and walk in, seeing their miserable drunken little daughter lying in the bed.

"Ohh, look at you...! you're going to be just fine, Vanessa!" Paul's relieved.

"WHAT, WERE YOU, THINKING!?" Liza wastes no time getting heated.

"Say whaaaaaa...?" Vanessa blinks at them, confused "Mom? Dad? what's wrong?"

"Be gentle with her for god's sake, she's in a daze!" Paul scolds "she probably doesn't even remember anything right now!"

"The last twenty-four hours of my life have been HELL thanks to her!" Liza growls "I deserve closure! I want to know why, and I want her to tell me right now, if she can't remember that's too bad, she needs to pull herself together and force the memory, she's not a child anymore, Paul, we're allowed to be as harsh as we need to be."

"Shut up, Liza, that's insane! she just attempted suicide, and you think harshly interrogating her is gonna help anything!?" Paul's in disbelief, then turns to Vanessa "listen, sweetie, I understand that you probably regret all of it, if you can even remember right now, just like many other people who try to kill themselves you realized just how precious your life was right after it was almost taken away, right? I understand you probably have problems, but we can get through it! daddy's here, Vanessa, daddy will help you, I promise!" he tries the opposite tactic of his wife's.

"Tried to kill myself!? HA!" Vanessa laughs "oh, Daddy, I'd never try to kill myself, at least not unless Barry was there to die too, we had a pact, held by our love, well, I mean, at the time we made the pact it wasn't in love, but it was after, ha-ha...!" she grins all ditzy at him.

"...Liza, come with me! we'll be right back, sweetie, just gotta discuss something first..." Paul grabs Liza by the arm and pulls her out of the hospital room.

"Liza, do you think she'll remember!?" Paul asks urgently.

"YES, Paul, sooner or later, they always remember." Liza nods "I know, I saw it on TV."

"Ughhhh...!" Paul twists his neck from stress "well, you heard what she said! she said that she'd kill herself if Barry was there to die too, that must be what they were doing last night, and now that he's dead what if she still wants to die herself!? how are we going to deal with this!? maybe we should get a psychiatrist, have them try to help her...!" Paul tries to work it out.

"She probably will still want to die, so we need to face this head-on! no tip-toeing around it, that would just cause problems later, I say we go back in there, directly address the issue, and convince her otherwise!" Liza suggests, determined to resolve this.

"We can try, but she's obviously not in her right mind! and wasn't last night either, we need to get her professonal help, regardless of how she takes our questioning!" Paul insists.

"Well we don't have any professional help right now, and she can suddenly remember everything at any moment, we may not be professional, but we're the best help she's got, if we don't get on it right away it might be too late!" Liza stresses "we need to do this, Paul, we have to go in there and give her our best attempt, no matter how weak it is."

"Fine! you do that, then! I'm going to talk to the doctors about getting her LEGITIMATE help!" Paul storms off.

"PAUL!" Liza yells after him "I can't do this alone! it would be best for her if we both did it, together, the whole family!"

"Then WAIT!" Paul snaps back.

"NO! what if she remembers and kills herself while I'm waiting for you!?" Liza hypothesizes.

"WATCH HER!" Paul orders.

"THAT'S, NOT, GOOD ENOUGH!" Liza screams "I'm not gonna let myself be trapped in there with her alone, no sir! especially since she'd be TRYING TO TALK TO ME about it!"

No response comes, Paul left.

"BULLSHIT!" Liza goes crazy "THIS IS BULLSHIT, PAUL! COME BACK HERE, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! **NOW!** " she chases after him.

After a minute of running around aimlessly Liza finds Paul talking to a doctor.

"What the fuck are you talking about!?" she approaches them.

"I already told you." Paul responds irritably.

"Well what the fuck does he have to say!?" Liza demands.

The doctor looks very taken aback.

"He said he'd see what he could do later." Paul answers.

"THEN LET'S GO FUCKING HELP HER NOW!" Liza demands "COME ON, YOU OLD TIME WASTING PIECE OF SHIT!" she grabs Paul's arm and starts dragging him back to Vanessa's room.

TO, BEE, CONTINUED!


	5. Chapter 5

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter Five: Vanessa's Mess'a's.

After Paul realizes that Liza doesn't know where the fuck they're going, he redirects them to the fastest way to the room, they arrive there a moment later.

 _BAM!_ Liza bursts through the door with Paul behind her, the loud noise shocking Vanessa awake, she looks around wildly until she sees them.

"Hello again, dear." Paul says unenthusiastically.

"Mom! Dad!" Venassa grins, happy to see them "what are you guys doing here?" her smile fades a little "...what am I even doing here? where is here?"

"This is your hospital room, Vanessa." Paul explains.

"Hospital room...?" Vanessa looks down at her bandages in shock "OH, shit! what happened!?"

Paul just looks at Liza.

Liza budges Paul, "go on, Paul, tell her."

"You're the one who even wanted to do this, if it were up to me we'd just wait for the real doctors to handle it." Paul refuses.

"Shut up!" Liza snaps before turning to Vanessa "okay, dear, I'm going to need to you take a deep breath and remain calm while I explain what happened to you, okay?"

"This is fucked..." Paul groans as he stretched his neck from stress again.

"Oh my god...!" Vanessa's eyes stretch "where's Barry!? was he involved!? why isn't he here with me!? or here with you!? is he at a bee hospital!? no, wait, I already know that bees go to human hospitals... is he in a different human hospital!?"

Paul just stares at Liza more.

"Vanessa, remain calm, remember?" Liza soothes "I know where Barry is, he's okay, everything is okay now."

"Are you serious?" Paul isn't impressed.

"WELL I DON'T SEE YOU MAKING ANY EFFORT TO SUPPORT ME ON THIS, PAUL! WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD SAY!?" Liza explodes.

"You already established that the entire point of this was to confront the issue head on, so why are you wasting time dancing around it and lying about things?" Paul questions.

"I'M, NOT, LYING!" Liza yells "I'm just softening the blow!"

"By contradicting everything you're about to tell her?" Paul scoffs.

"EITHER HELP, OR SHUT UP AND LET ME DO THINGS MY WAY!" Liza rages.

"I'm already helping by pointing out the errors of your way." Paul's a smartass.

"MY WAY IS PERFECT! STOP SCREWING WITH IT!" Liza screams at him.

"ENOUGH! stop screaming, Mom!" Vanessa starts.

"YEAH." Paul cheers.

"And get with the explaining, Dad! both of you pull it together and just tell me what happened already!" Vanessa demands.

"Alright then, tell her, Liza." Paul invites "tell her what happened."

"You and Barry tried to kill yourselves!" Liza snaps "there was nothing we could do for Barry... I mean... your stupid fucking father here MURDERED him, but I saved you by bandaging your wound, we called an ambulance and now here we are."

"Wow, Liza, way to soften the blow." Paul rolls his eyes.

"YOU can fucking shut your face! you KNOW this is NOT what I was going to do, you asshole!" Liza slaps him "if I could've just fucking done it my way, this wouldn't be a fucking issue!"

"Yeah! I'm sure all this is really helping Vanessa, isn't it!?" Paul snaps back.

"It would have helped her immensely if you hadn't fuckled it up all over!" Liza makes up a new word "THIS is not what I fucking wanted!"

"It didn't have to be this way, you didn't even need to do it! don't bother blaming it on me!" Paul complains.

"IT WAS GOING GREAT UNTIL YOU WENT ALL 'ARE YOU SERIOUS!?'" Liza proclaims.

"That was only because you were LYING TO HER FACE." Paul counters.

"IT, WAS, NOT, LYING!" Liza insists.

"Then what do YOU call it!?" Paul demands.

"REASSURANCE!" Liza screams "SAY ONE FUCKING LIE I TOLD, I DARE YOU!"

"BARRY IS FUCKING OKAY!" Paul jumps at the chance.

"BARRY IS OKAY, HE'S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW, HE'S NOT IN PAIN AND CAN'T CAUSE OTHERS PAIN!" Liza counters.

"And that's definately what she THINKS you meant by it!" Paul snarls.

"What she THINKS doesn't matter, what I MEAN does!" Liza claims.

"ALL OF THIS is about what she thinks and how she feels!" Paul points out.

While these two idiots are arguing, Vanessa absorbs the information she has gotten out of them, the statements trigger the memories and she recollects everything that happened.

"You... you two blithering idiots CHEATED US! me and Barry were going to leave this world together, you pulled me off the bus! you made him leave, WITHOUT ME! how could you!?" Vanessa shouts at her parents.

"Vanessa!? you... you remember now!?" Paul stammers.

"YES I REMEMBER NOW!" Vanessa takes after her mother with the inability to keep her voice low, she is however significantly better at it "we were SO CLOSE, I was going, I remember his eyes, I made him so happy, WE were so happy, I had kept my promise, and then... and then..." she starts crying.

"Vanessa, darling, it's all alright!" Paul cries, running to sit on the bed to comfort his daughter "we're getting you help, it's all going to be okay!"

"Look what you did!" Liza scolds Paul "if we did this my way, she'd be thanking us right now!"

"Your way was to stand back and let me talk about all the hard stuff, it was fucking lazy!" Paul retorts.

"MY WAY was for us to do this TOGETHER." Liza screeches.

"YES, you being the bringer of good news and me being the bringer of bad!" Paul accuses.

"WHAT GOOD NEWS!?" Vanessa gasps out from her bawling "it's all ba-a-a-a-ad...!"

"Yeah, except for her lies!" Paul agrees.

"Th-thank you for not lying, Daddy...! at least there's that...!" Vanessa somewhat reluctantly grabs onto and hugs him for support.

"YES! oh, yes, baby girl, thank you! I knew you deserved the truth all along!" Paul kisses her on the head.

"I, NEVER, LIED, ONCE!" Liza protests.

"Ello? did somebody say 'good news'?" the doctor walks in.

"Yeah." Paul just keeps hugging Vanessa happily.

"Cool, 'cause I got good news, some more good news, and even more good news!" the Doctor announces.

"Oh my god, this day can't get any better!" Paul's freaking loving it.

"Which good news do you want first?" the Doctor asks.

"Whichever." Paul answers.

"...I was joking." the Doctor states "I already know which order I'm going to tell you in, it's the order that makes the most sense."

"Good with me!" Paul cheers, super-happy.

"Just get 'em over with!" Liza demands impatiently.

"Please...!" Vanessa pleads, hoping that just one of the good news' will be 'Barry is still alive!'.

"First off, Mrs. Benson will make a full recovery, no long-term damage has been caused to her whatsoever." the Doctor confirms.

"That's good!" Paul grins.

"Second, I noticed something during the examination that wasn't on record..." the Doctor puffs his chest with pride "...she's PREGNANT! congratulations!"

" **WHAT!?** " Paul reacts, shocked.

"And finally, the baby has not received any permenant damage either, both of you will be happy and healthy." the Doctor finishes, smiling satisfied with himself.

"But...!" Paul starts in disbelief "SHE WAS MARRIED TO A BEE!"

The doctor immediately frowns.

"Are you trying to tell me that the fucking BEE was the father!?" Paul can't get over it.

"I... am not telling you anything, about the father." the Doctor asserts his neutrality "just that she is in fact pregnant."

"Can you... CHECK, please!?" Paul requests.

"I suppose, but I'd need her to come with me for the procedure." the Doctor agrees "and it costs you."

"Ugh, FINE! just do it!" Paul desperately needs his answers.

"He wasn't just A bee, Daddy! he was MY bee, he was Barry, he was special." Vanessa quips at him as the Doctor helps her out of bed "and he was a male bee, and he could talk, until this year nobody thought bees could talk, is the idea that they can also interbreed with us really so far-fetched?"

"We're... so... different...!" Paul stresses.

"We'll be back with the results soon, please wait, here or in the lobby." the Doctor asks as he leads Vanessa away, her feet were dragging with both her drunkeness and her broken heart.

TO, BEE, CONTINUED!


	6. Chapter 6

**The Ultimate Conclusion of Jerry Seinfeld as a Bee.**

by Pand and Lilli.

Chapter Six: Preggers and Beggers.

"Isn't this GREAT, Paul!?" Liza beams.

"What if it was the fucking bee...!?" Paul doesn't let it go.

"Oh, I pray to GOD that it was the fucking bee!" Liza cheers "Barry's baby is exactly what we need!"

"No! no, it isn't!" Paul protests "it would be a constant reminder! the memories of Barry and the suicide pact looming over her head for the rest of her life! what if she tries to join Barry again!? this time with his new child! this is a horrible thing!"

"NO, Paul! think about it!" Liza pushes "we can use this to our advantage, now she has something to live for, we can convince her that Barry wouldn't want her to kill their child or leave it as an orphan, any correlation between it and Barry can be slowly eroded away over the years until there's no association at all, the baby will be it's own person, not Barry."

"Ugh, I suppose, maybe..." Paul still isn't quite convinced "but it could go sour so easily, we'll need to watch them closely to make sure nothing's off, and get them lots of therapy... but it might work if we're lucky enough..."

"Better than just having her sad and alone with no baby to live for, right!?" Liza questions.

"Well, not necessarily! the baby's not going to help much if she does just see it as an extension of Barry! and she's not exactly capable of handling this type of responsibility right now!" Paul counters.

"That's why she needs to **come live with us again!** " Liza cheers "isn't it wonderful!? we'll have the whole family together! no more just the two of us in the creaky empty house!"

"But she was already going to do that when it was just her alone!" Paul keeps countering "and the only way the whole 'live for the baby' element is going to work is if **she** feels responsible for it, but if it practically just lives off our care then that'll all be undone because she could just as easily be dead and the baby would still be just fine! and the living with us thing would have worked the best if it was practically like being teleported back to a safer, clearer time where everything in the world was all alright, and she can take her time recovering at her own pace, but like this, with the baby coming, and then the baby being here and growing up in a potentially questionable environment, at an alarmingly fast rate, especially if it's a bee, then that throws the whole thing out of wack! all the baby really does is complicate things for everyone, Liza!"

Liza thinks it over, "...you're right, Paul, we need every single shred of that fucking bee gone from this world forever, we must KILL THE BABY."

" **NO!** THAT'S NOT GOING TO FUCKING HELP!" Paul freaks "as of right now we're just gonna have to deal with it and hope that Barry wasn't the father and that it's not going to be a fucking bee, if it is then we'll just have to really pile on the psychiatric therapy and encourage her to disconnect the child from the father in her mind as much as possible, and raise the child to **not** be like Barry for the fucking life of us, understand?"

"Oh, so first you DON'T want the baby, now you DO want the baby, MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, PAUL." Liza sneers.

"Shut up, Liza, we're stuck with the baby whether we like it or not!" Paul orders "unless, like, she loses it, but that's probably not going to happen and we still shouldn't hope for it."

 _BAM._ the door bursts open and the doctor storms in, Vanessa behind him.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you people, the father IS a motherfucking bee! how does that work!? I DON'T KNOW, but your daughter did it! she made a child with an insect, congratu-fucking-lations! you're the first in the world!" the Doctor announces, very bothered.

"How... lucky..." Paul isn't fucking happy to hear that.

Oh, and Vanessa is crying by the way, just throwing that out there.

"Vanessa!? why are you crying, sweetie!?" Paul notices.

"Oh, Daddy...!" Vanessa whines "on one hand, Barry always wanted a child, but we didn't think it was possible, this would make him so happy if he was here, on the other hand, HE'S NOT HERE, Barry will never know our child and our child will never know Barry, it's... it's so SAD...!"

"Oh, baby, there, there, it's okay, I understand it must be hard for you, but you still have us, we'll get through it together, I know we will..." Paul consoles his daughter.

Vanessa stops crying...

...and then suddenly cries harder.

"OHHH!" Paul just keeps trying to comfort her any way he can.

"I...! I'm sorry... it's... it's just...!" Vanessa cries "it was never supposed to be like this, I shouldn't be here, this shouldn't be happening, I was supposed to leave with Barry, I promised him I would, what am I supposed to do now, Dad!? Barry already left, I can't off myself now, it's too late, but I don't **want** to live anymore, not without him, so I can't end it and I can't keep going, there's nothing I can do to make me happy anymore, NOTHING."

"I'LL make you happy, Vanessa! I promise! that's all I want, just please, **please** let me help you find happiness again...!" Paul begs.

"Don't forget ME." Liza bitches "WE'LL make you happy again, not him, US."

The Doctor looks at the three of them very awkwardly, he hadn't signed up for any of this crap.

"What can you guys do...?" Vanessa sighs "I'm sorry, I know you love me, and I love you, but I just don't see how things could get better from here..."

"They will, Vanessa! you can move back in with us, we'll all be together, and we'll get you therapy, you might even be surprised by just how quickly you may start feeling better! just give it a chance, if it doesn't work then we'll try something else, but I'll find you happiness again sooner or later, just you wait!" Paul promises.

"Exactly, it may not seem like it now, but you CAN heal from this, it'll just take a little time and a lot of love." Liza adds.

"Come on, dear, just try it, for us...!" Paul begs as hard as he can.

"And for Barry! he'd want his child to have a good life, like he did, thanks to you." Liza claims.

Paul immediately wishes that Liza just didn't.

Vanessa breathes for a moment, calming down and getting a grip, "o... okay... I'll... I'll try it... for now..."

"YES! that's the spirit, baby girl! you won't regret this!" Paul cheers.

And so Vanessa moved back in with her parents, she had clinical depression and required regular psychiatrist visits, the baby was born before long, it was a boy, and he was neither mankind nor beekind, but a freak that looked exactly like a human sometimes and exactly like a giant bee at other times, like a werewolf, he could control his appearance at will, unless something REALLY pissed him off, then he'd turn into a bee against his will because bees are naturally more angry than humans and try to fuckin' sting people for mere insults as seen IN Bee Movie when Barry's brother/best friend/whatever assaulted their legal opposition over mere words that could have been easily dealt with like a civilized adult, dumb bitch couldn't hold his temper, anyway, Barry Jr., yes that was his name, Vanessa chose it, grew up actually very popular and not shunned, because he fucking looked human most of the time, that made Vanessa happy, he had a lifespan of a human too, so, like, no dying after 90 days and sending her into even worse depression, that would suck, so with the encouragement of Barry Jr.'s happiness Paul's efforts to help her were eventually successful, and the memory of Barry Benson and the pain he caused Paul's family gradually faded away, forever.

BEE END.

Originally written in Mid-November, 2017.

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